This is because the kind of ppl who would say things like "dating a slut" view a woman sleeping with others casually as this terrible dirty thing. Who you allow inside yourself matters. If she's interested, there's clearly no problems from her end. are is the number that would still be acceptable to most. Okay okay, maybe that is a bit extreme. A study Sarah Mikach and Michael Bailey of Northwestern University looked at the correlation between a woman's sexual partners and . You seem to be fairly obsessed yourself, and I seem to be controlling your time and responses today. The past does matter, because granted imagine sleeping with the man or woman, exchanging fluids. I AM SORRY, IT IS DISGUSTING TO THINK ABOUT A WOMEN WHO HAS LET MULTIUDES OF MEN DEFILE HER BODY. Are you telling me that the number of sex partners she then tells you is worth walking away from this woman. you have issues so you didnt have problems with your wife introducing you to her exs and flirting with them..?? Can you label them accurately? Which is why so many will lie about there number. The amount of people Ive had I could go on forever but Ill stop here. As far as wrong or right, I will save that for another post. Men get to play while we sit at home waiting for our love? You can believe what you wish, and if this works for you my friend then by all means continue as you are. The woman that men desire permanently is the woman who isn't promiscuous and is the opposite of the women they have been with. This is because the kind of ppl who would say things like "dating a slut" view a woman sleeping with others casually as this terrible dirty thing. Its all psychology. Hes not stating that women are divorcing because they cheat. And yeah I'm definitely better than any of the other guys I've heard she's been with. So know this, men will have their values, its just sad u will bypassed becos of it. Also, I just don't think hook-up culture will help me become the best version of myself. Plus you want someone who loves you for who you really are and you will never Besides its a sinful lifestyle anyway. Then she hit me with the old.Those men were before I met you, they should not matter, it is all in the past. Lets try this on for size: A woman can own her body without giving it to every Tom, Dick, and Harry who comes along. Actually this research was proven by a Womens Organization! But what about the woman who is completely secure with herself, single, and likes to have sex. The girl you date is not concerned about cooking for you. o___O #dead Now those are some REAL double standards.com! You feel it might reflect on her character and increase her chances of cheating on you? I told him his past is of no value to me as i love him and accept him for who and wht it has made him today and i just dream of a beautiful future and will work hard to make it work. No track record of long-term relationships, combined with promiscuous behaviour, is always a bad sign, regardless of philosophy. more imperative because, if given a choice, men will choose the more virtuous That is my opinion, and I guess we can agree to disagree on this one. Id like to think that its not all a hush-hush, giggle-giggle, shameful thing and that being adult means we can handle the reality that people mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers, men and women have sex. And the high quality woman (in terms of youth, health, and fecundity) also historically wanted a man who was generous and would provide her and her offspring with resources and security. Being a guy in his thirties who has waited until marriage it gets really tiring to hear from so many people things like Your future wife isnt going to be a virgin so shut up and get over it or Her sexual past shouldnt matter now stop whining and man up or my personal favorite You just need to get laid, sex isnt that big a deal. Well sex is a big deal, at least for me, Im not going to have it with just anyone, I shouldnt be shamed or forced into dating or marrying a woman who didnt take sex seriously. But the average man, when hes serious about a woman, does care. Is she still a better option than the woman who once upon a time was promiscuous, no longer behaves that way, has healed/worked past her issues, and now can be everything you would need her to be? Not to mention the problems I've tried to avoid by those men who slander her name. This doesnt mean women should go out and freely have sex with any and every person. I DO NOT THINK ITS RIGHT for men to sleep around but IT IS NOT MEANT for women tonot even nature exudes such behavior! It just isnt right. I just still think we have to evaluate that person for who they are now, or in many cases just trust GOD if you feel he has told you this is the woman for you. Hello Stephen I think we should all face reality What happens to the guy that took a chance on her got his emotions wrapped up in her only to have them stomped on? You two date and now are boyfriend and girlfriend for several months. I agree totally. Your notions of beta this and slut that are so divorced from reality where do I begin. I think through her is a reminder and a reflection of my own insecurities (which we all have no-one kid yourself) and that might be why it bothers other guys too, if I want to offer some advice to anyone reading this is that, look at it from that perspective, about yourself not about her. As promiscuous as men are! Im reformed!. It is not fair to either spouse to have to compete with previous whether perceived or real upgrades the previous partner had. If you're honest more than likely you wouldn't. Self-Confident. He sais it in a pretty comical way too! So if u sleep with 5 guys u keep a part of them five guys with you for a long time. So this research would directly indicate that the women who sleep with the most men and marry late have the lowest divorce rate. Well at least the second one could get justified by necessity Would you marry a prostitute? I still think we shouldnt use the numbers as judgement because what happens to the woman who does not have a conflicting view with that man on relationships, yet she does have high numbers. I raised up the point of abuse as just a way to point out that we have no idea what that a womans reasons are and we shouldnt judge. So the numbers are irrelevant. The reason why I view the actual number irrelevant is due to this example: Lets say you meet a woman and she is amazing. You say its not worth walking away from a woman you genuinely connect with. hint 4: take some time and really dissect the roots of these feelings and separate them from the trigger events. Here, we have a beautiful quiz for you. (sorry so long lol just trying to get you the most info). Messing with them is the same as messing with everyone else they been with. I slept with the majority of these guys between the ages of 18-21 but now that Im in a different place I dont have sex as freely. The reality is that this can happen with a woman who has had very few partners or many partners. take her to my babysitting job and we can babysit the little kid and eachother ;) to my work, she can help me move machines and i can help her move her machine ;) maybe take her to a big scary movie called CLOWNS R KOOL and then buy her a balloon. And, what does your sex life say about your character? 20, 30 or more men is wrong then I hope you take that same logic and school your boy on that too because every time she opens her legs to someone there is always a man willing to climb between them, and that makes him just as ho -ish following your logic. I love the fact the despite only being with one man, you are still able to take the position of not using someones past against them. And for the women who cry out that the number of partners doesnt matter, then why not just be honest. Redpill and PUA groups can't do that because their inherent premise is that women are lesser and that abusive action is acceptable toward them. I understand a lot of what you are saying, but the main thing to remember is not to judge someone on their past. Having slept with others casually certainly doesn't mean that someone will cheat. This statement makes no sense. I'm looking for ways to reflect on this situation so I can movie forward in not let my toxic behavior leak out. Its not good north bad. Yes the chances that they wont see eye to eye may increase based on her sexual past, but it will not always be the case. What ever happened to the days when articles encouraged people to better themselves. I do not disagree with a lot you just said. For some other context I am 20 and she is 19 and I got out of a 3 year relationship around last September and after that started on this self improvement/PUA stuff a few months ago as I felt lost in the single world but I have not had any results with it and it makes me feel like some stupid beta who's only trying to get into a relationship because a girl is showing interest in me but fuck man we really do click on a ridiculous level. Thats why they say check the Carfax. I do not like the double standard but I cannot deny that it exists. Furthermore for both sex d rare and tear is evident. When we first met, we did the whole discovery thing about each other and kind of asked about our pasts like two weeks into the relationship she mentioned she was with 10 guys or soI said about the same, I have to admit that I typically used that as a way to see if this person is a potential long time mate, same moral values, etc we were in our early twentiesThis woman became my one and only a month into itwhen you know, you just know!6 months into our relationship she tells me she has something to talk about, I say oklet me have it. made and consequences stem from them. You assume that not being old fashioned means being a slut. The First and the Last. My happiness is not based on marriage. Then, my sweet little friend, I would suggest you do a thorough SELF-examination. If they say they dont feel secure in the relationship, (Lets assume TONS is much larger than LOTS). I think you may be just saying what you think sounds right or politically correct, without actually thinking through the implications. That doesnt define who you will be. I disagree with that comparison. Sorry, Id much rather reward the woman who showed discipline, restraint, integrity, and respect for herself. Means mentally you are stronger. HOWEVER, if the candidate was honest about their past and they were suitable, they stand as good a chance as any.. Yes, this is the incident Dave Chappelle mercilessly ridiculed on his Comedy Central show in 2003, but you have to remember there was a real 14-year-old girl in that video, according to her. I would love to talk about this with someone that is exp it as well. The Era of female double standards is drawing to a close. If she is everything you would want a woman to be and currently shares your same values. i could never date no one thats slept with a lot of people. I believe, But the same thing goes for men they should save their selves for the ONE, because u could be tainting another mans bloodline think about how you would feel to have another mans DNA in your children knowing they are not pure of you and you alone. I can only hope altamera74 read your reply. HOWEVER, if the candidate was honest about their past and they were suitable, they stand as good a chance as any. Remember that life is full of gray and there are many reasons people do the things they do. Women should in my opinion do kegel That is all the article is trying to say. Yea I had a 3some with best friend and a dude we barely knew in college. How many people have you slept with, Neighbor? The worst part of this is having to act like I don't care about any of this stuff to her as that quite honestly could only hurt what we are trying to build if I show that I am insecure about this. I think Id have to agree with Sharona. Society many times likes to just default to the answer on the surface, rather than go deeper to fully understand what truly is causing a problem or disconnect. while there certainly can be concerns about patterns of behavior, don't let those feed your insecurities. I dont know if youre a male or female judging by your username. Think about this. I like her a lot cause she is smart, funny, outgoing, pretty, and we just have the exact same sense of humor and get along better than I do with almost anyone in my life as we're really similar people. I understand your position, but I do not agree that it is the best approach. Either way I think all women when put in the right relationship (and have taken time to heal & love themselves) are capable of operating as the best women they can be. No one is saying you have to date us. I have yet to meet a woman that has had more than 50 sex partners and was in a solid, healthy, balanced, loving relationship. How you view intimacy, and love, and sex matters. So lets be perfect in a less than perfect world and provide a few undeniable examples: Your RENT is due and it is $800 and you only have $620Do you have the right or wrong amount??? Life is all about letting go. I agree with you. LOL. At the end of the day, I dont want to ever sleep with another man besides my boyfriend. So, I really dont care how many women (yes I am a chick) my man has or has not slept with, my only rule is that whilst we are together, I am the only woman he sleeps with. Would you still judge her as nothing more than a whore or was she simply a victim of a horrible act and didnt know or wasnt able to get the help to properly handle it. I honestly dont like having to interact with my gfs past partners so in the end this article is nice but if one doesnt want to marry a female who has slept around then these words are neither here nor there in reality. 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