\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. This type of employee can leave people feeling frustrated, exhausted and disrespected. We all have the right to feel valued and respected at work. Condescending, on the other hand, is more direct. They believe they are perfect One common problem with condescending people is that they think they are perfect and hold everyone to this benchmark. "Well you have autism so you don't know how to . It implies that the other person is being melodramatic or otherwise emotionally unstable, thus invalidating anything they have to say. Many people see a compliment sandwich and think, Just give it to me straight. Are you inadvertently making it hard for employees to be productive? Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 32,305 times. MANAGER: While I admire your confidence in this situation it never hurts to learn more and get more guidance. So when someone tells a woman to "Take it easy," she'll likely feel like that person is saying she's "over the top" or "dramatic." In general, it's not a great idea to touch people who aren't family members or close friends. This article has been viewed 32,305 times. You can just learn people's actual names. This touches upon calling subordinates things like champ or honey, but expands into referring to people by names other than those they use themselves. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. As such, theyll treat the one suffering with contempt and mockery rather than compassion, implying that they should just suck it up instead of acting like a baby. This is the employee who always tries to put in his two cents, even when it's not wanted. Stay calm and centered during the conversation even if your employee . Plus, those nicknames are almost always gender-exclusive; a male boss isn't going to call his female employee "chief" (and hopefully in 2022 he knows not to call any woman besides his wife "honey"). Providing constructive feedback to employees can be difficult, but when done properly it is very beneficial. be careful not to reply to a condescending person with more condescension. More often than not, people will assume that unless you talk about your knowledge of a subject on the regular, you dont have a clue about it. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. And it's true that a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down sometimes. Others may have heard it from those who have opposing political views or from people who make different personal life choices, such as dietary preferences or breastfeeding. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. 8. There are all kinds of people who are unpleasant to be around-Debbie downers, complainers, jealous green monsters, mean-spirited snarks, and most anyone who wears neon sunglasses- but if you walk away from another person feeling worse about yourself, there's a good chance you've been dealing with a condescending person. LiquidPiston's patented thermodynamic cycle is making engineering history and they're taking investors while they do it. Most women have had a man tell her to "relax" because he perceives her reaction as inappropriately emotional-when in fact, she doesn't feel she's responding emotionally at all. This kind of backhanded compliment can feel worse than getting no praise at all. EMPLOYEE 1 (Jack): Based on my conversation with the customer, our latest launch . As a small thank you, wed like to offer you a $30 gift card (valid at GoNift.com). A condescending person might say something like, "Well, I would agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong." 2 They may be trying to prove how smart they are. Remarking on Someone's Appearance Calling Out Someone's Natural Expression Implying Someone Didn't Prepare Enough Questioning Someone's Success Publicly Belittling People's Ideas Using a Pet Name in Particular Situations Suggesting Teachers Are Less Capable 9. But most of the time, it's safer to give them the benefit of the doubt. While a comment or behavior from a coworker may seem personal . JANE: Well, the downside would be that we wouldn't have had the benefit of the correct information right away. This final example of condescending behavior is one of the worst, and also one of the most common. If the conversation is casual, and someone mispronounces a name or a word, there's a good chance it's not worth correcting them at all. "When someone's speaking and you're not giving them your attention, that's condescending," Siani says. We'll be in your inbox every morning Monday-Saturday with all the days top business news, inspiring stories, best advice and exclusive reporting from Entrepreneur. Feb 12, 2020. True comment, they get what they deserve, Im totally in agreement. Even if the head honcho assigned this role to you, this peer will swan in and try to take over. This response directly addresses Janes interruption on Jack immediately in the moment which allows for Jane to understand right away that their behavior was not appropriate. Sep 12, 2022 If you dont give them the satisfaction of knowing that they have irritated you, they might simply stop being condescending. Be sure to read Lynnes books on how to handle tough conversations. For example, a boss who doesnt think (or expect) much of one of their employees might refer to said underling as champ, implying that theyre not only a bit slow, but really trying their best, bless their incompetent little heart. It's seen as a way of cushioning criticism. ), 9 Highly Effective Ways To Deal With Condescending People, Help! They might happen between family members, colleagues, friends, or complete strangersall depending on circumstance and what's going on around them. They might be acting completely calmly and rationally, but are basically being toldalbeit indirectlyto shut up because theyre embarrassing themselves and everyone else. Going to HR may seem extreme, but if youve tried everything else, it may be your only option. document.getElementById( "ak_js_3" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); document.getElementById( "ak_js_4" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Privacy Policy | Terms & Conditions When in fact, theyre likely completely valid, well-researched, carefully chosen, and (most importantly) right for the individual. Step 1 Step 2 Step 3. Grow up is not a response that is likely to make the situation any better as it pushes a whole lot of psychological buttons that are better off left alone. Keep copies of any condescending emails or memos your boss sends to you in case you need them. "Well part of the problem is that you have autism so you sometimes engage in this or that behavior.". "I actually like that idea" When you say this, it can land like a patronizing backhanded compliment. Frank Blaney. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This employee might tell his experienced colleague how to do a task he has been doing for years. They may occur within families, at school or work, between peers, or even with strangers. Say you're having a debate over politics and someone says, "Come on, you know better than that." If your boss sends you an email that says, I need this now not later this week it really could just be that theyre in a rush and just need something quickly. 13 steps for handling condescending coworkers. Lets say someone is suffering from a debilitating headache and needs to go home from work. Whether you're having a casual conversation or trying to offer meaningful feedback, the person you're talking to is way more likely to shut down and react defensively if you claim they "always" or "never" do something. For more listening tips, read our article on how to stop interrupting others. This expands upon the previous example, because it usually involves interrupting someone mid-sentence. Firstly, it implies that you arent worth listening to and dont deserve respect. Related: 25 Words That Make Other People Feel Inferior. 6. Explaining Stuff You Already Know This person will explain things like they're offering you valuable knowledge. To whoever you're speaking to, the implicit message is, 'I know important people, ergo I'm important.' Managers are tasked not only with identifying these individuals and their behavior but with addressing them as well. A Fortune study found that women were 17 times more likely than men to be described as abrasive. Selective deafness is always an option. For example, were you to tell someone, "You're always late," or, "You never clean the toilet," they're likely to feel as if you're making a definitive statement about who they are and will almost certainly rack their brains for contradictory evidence. The employee who disregards training and basic tasks because "he already knows." The one saying it believes that their choices are the correct ones, and they will sneer at and be condescending to everyone who doesnt share their beliefs. Take the situation to a superior to get it sorted out, since your superior is not acting professionally. Here are some useful comebacks. He also holds a 2nd Degree Black Belt in Jujitsu and trains executives and staff of corporations, NGOs, and communities in self-care, personal performance and conflict resolution. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. People who go this route are often fiercely insecure, and they use their acquired knowledge base as a shield to hide behind, prop themselves up with, and injure others as needed. For women in particular, being told to "Take it easy" is peak patronizing. After all, theyre so knowledgeable about the topic, why wouldnt everyone be delighted to know what the right course of action should be? In communicating with a condescending person, try not . Cracking Jokes At The Wrong Time There is a time and place for humormost times and most places, in fact. They usually feel weak and disempowered, so they try to make others feel small to prop themselves up. Calling other men "Chief," "Boss" or "Big Guy" is a weird sort of faux-submission posturing. Even if you're doing something objectively bad for you-say, smoking a cigarette-when someone says, "Come on, you know better than that," it's such a parental rebuke that you'll probably relapse into adolescent "don't tell me what to do" mode and smoke more cigarettes to spite them. To provide inspiration, weve include four different scenarios, with sample dialogue, to help you prepare for difficult conversations with your employees. While it can be helpful to correct someone occasionally, the employee who is constantly correcting the pronunciation, grammar, and behavior of his colleagues is not needed in the workplace. He seemed fine at first. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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